I saw a church sign that read, "Worry ends where faith begins." I guess I missed this gem squashed somewhere in the middle of the Proverbs. I can't help but feel the desire to clarify the possibilities that arise with this short and powerful statement. So are they saying I don't have faith because I still worry? Or rather are they directing it at non-Christians in hopes that they can get them in the door based on this very false statement? Or worse, a Christian who left the church in anger, sees a sign like this and instinctively thinks we're all hypocrites (because that is the label we need).
As one who has dealt with anxiety my whole life, I know Matthew 6. I know what it says. And I absolutely love when Jesus tells us that if the birds are taken care of, isn't it obvious that we will be and even more so. When He reminds me that today has enough worry, and I can leave tomorrow alone. I find rest and comfort in those words, but as much as I repeat those words it does not mean my worry is just washed away. As Christians no one (walking with Jesus or not) finds rest in pretending that we don't worry.
Finding Christ in the midst of this life (during chaos, trials, joy, pain, anger, and suffering) is something I think we should try and open ourselves up to. To the possibility or understanding that saved isn't a line we cross.
This thought in Christianity that a person is either over the line or not being the only two options. In my own life I have danced around the line of 'saved' or 'not' as long as I can remember, and I would like to think I am not alone here. I have doubted being in or out. Honestly, a person can hover over this line. Or straddle it. You can cross the line, and then dart back. You can race over it running a marathon past it, only to wake up years later with the line still at your feet somehow. Or how about those who avoid the line, pretend it isn't there, and yet Jesus steps right over to walk with that person on the other side?
Which makes me wonder maybe for Jesus the line doesn't exist. Which means maybe this line is something we made up to put things nicely in a box. Maybe this line is meaningless. And maybe I find unexplainable joy in serving a God who can't be put nicely in a box. Maybe there is hope in that simple thought alone.
I worry. . . .and I have faith. I even have worries about my faith. I don't think Jesus minds. I actually thinks He understands.
Here is what I find exhilarating about what I am seeing on this journey. The idea of "being". I am being saved, I am being transformed, I am b e i n g forgiven. So do I take it out of the realm of possibility that sometime in my life I will be without a care in the world? Of course not, because I cannot define what God can do. But what I do know is this:
I have faith. I have worries. And I still have a Savior.